Follow the Lighted Promenade

I am suffering from a severe case of anti-depression. Those inflicted with depression complain of irrational and inexplicable unhappiness, compounded by feelings of worthlessness and isolation. I am irrationally giddy, and I can't figure out why. I just took my car in to get the brakes fixed ($415), I have a bajillion papers to write between now and next Thursday, the weather is gloomy and gray, and I feel isolated and alone. But on the other hand, my semester ends in only 8 days, the wind off the lake is surprisingly refreshing, I now will be able to get my car to stop from time to time, and I am always pretty isolated from most people. I also feel stubbornly (and almost savagely) independent. I want to write "f**k" a lot to describe it, but that's not really my style. I am out of control a bit, but not to the extent that I'd have everyone believe. I still take rejection very, very badly and still put having fun over most responsibilities, but what of i

Tom Petty tonight. :):):):):) I am gonna post once when I feel bad, just to temper all of this optimistic, poetic crap. It's just whenever I feel bad I retreat to my room and play guitar or drive to Alberta or something like that. I shun the computer. So you'll have to put up with it (or not...you could stop reading.) The Cubs are gonna mop the floor with the Astros! Boom boom boom boom. I feel like a little kid. I've been wearing my emotions on my sleeve for awhile and that gets tiring, but mostly I have been happy. I've fixed my bike. I have taken to walking unimaginable distances into the late twilight. (Last night I topped 5 miles down an old rail corridor near my house.) I can't put down my guitar. (I learned to play Southern Cross by Crosby, Stills, and Nash.) I've been hanging out with Sarah who always manages to improve my mood - no matter how good or bad (even if she is allergic to walking.) :) I talked to Kati and Jeremy and planne

Hello! It's gonna storm. There will be a great release of energy. I need to release some. I need to take it a day at a time. I need to unwind. Last night I came home feeling accomplished and shellshocked and reached for my guitar. I played aimlessly and tunelessly for a couple of minutes. I felt torn in several directions, tired and jumpy and hopeful and miserable, but nothing came out in my music. I then grabbed the capo and changed keys and realized that I was in standard tuning and could play my harmonicas along and then I just released. I have a new set of steel on my Epiphone that hurts my fingers, but I didn't care. I played for so long (apparently my parents don't live with me anymore, so no one was home :)). I don't know if it sounded miraculous or hideous and I don't care. I let it all out, what a great release, what a necessary catharsis. Music is my love, one of my few true loves, and it just felt good to play for no one except maybe my cat

From Mattapoisett, Massachusetts I relax on the east coast, deeply and hopelessly in love. When summer reaches out her hand, I take it and let her lead me where she will. I can't describe to you the beauty I've seen. I can't descibe the places I've been or the conversations I've had or the love that I've felt. I just rode down the southeastern Massachusetts coast through the late twilight. I watched the sun descend while listening to Radiohead and writing poetry. Tonight I will sleep in the arms of the breeze. The Great God Baseball. Tomorrow I will visit thee. Fenway, the shrine, the temple, the hallowed grounds. She is dying; or, more aptly, she is being killed. The names of those who played there will forever echo through the halls of our collective imagination: Ted Williams, the Yaz, Bobby Dewer, Jim Rice, Jimmy Peirsol, Babe Ruth, Johnny Pesky, Hank Greenberg...the list goes on. Tomorrow I will say goodbye to the old yard. There is crying in