"Solitude has soft, silky hands, but with strong fingers it grasps the heart and makes it ache with sorrow. Solitude is the ally of sorrow as well as a companion of spiritual exaltation." Kahlil Gibran.

That quote moved me profoundly today.

I've not slept well, nor have I been able to rise above the pall that has descended over me in previous days. I think that my sickness, coupled with anxiety over my upcoming trip, has led my mind down dark avenues. I am looking forward to the trip (I need a change, a breaking of the routine that has sustained me for so long) but it's hard, when shivering alone at four in the morning, to look ahead with anything but apprehension.

It would be so easy for me to surround myself with friends right now, but I feel, as strongly as I've ever felt anything, that my path is one of solitude, and I need to walk it in silence. Though I've not lost myself, there are parts of me that are burgeoning, and I want to see what comes about. The decisions I've been making have not been the easiest ones, but the right ones seldom are.

I am proud of myself for having this strength, for in all honesty, this really isn't easy on me. The world has grown very large, but I'm still heading out into it, to camp in the lowforests, to write in dinghy motels, to listen to Beck and M.I.A. and Maun Chao in the vernal subtropics...

It sounds both lovely and terrifying.

Comments

ad said…
I think I finally understand your fondness for foreign music you can't understand. It doesn't matter what the lyrics say and it is actually better not to know. What matters is that the music reaches you and moves you, and that makes it more spiritual. I found a new artist and a CD for you upon your return.
6:14 AM
Dan said…
You guys made me very happy...

Harlem Rose - you are right, or course. I agree completely.

Adam - You should check out the newest Manu Chao. It is indescribably amazing.

Heather - I do miss you. I thought a lot about Zoo Day and Snake Day. You are so cool!
12:13 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mornings like this are why I love Spring in the Midwest: a glowing sky, filled with orange light yet threatening rain, o'erspreading the new green trees...it makes up for the fact that I had an absolutely ICY shower this morning. The sky is wide through my windows. (I'm sad I shal'n't have this room next year.) It makes me think of/ pine for travel. Below are a few pictures from my recent trip to the hill country of central Florida. I backpacked (solo) the state's longest loop trail and rode (both ways) its longest bike trail (with a stop at a strange, distant hotel between legs) and, in between these two jaunts, scorched myself on Clearwater Beach...I have hardly any skin left on me. Enjoy!
Read more
One of my favorite singer/ songwriters, David Brown from Brazzaville, actually read one of my stories, "Sleeping and Waking" and told me that I was a very talented writer with a very natural style. He has inspired much of my writing over the past six months, so this means a lot to me. I am going on one hour of sleep. Gawd, am I tired.
Read more

My Keynote Address to the Calumet High School Class of 2016

I’d like to start by thanking you, sincerely, for choosing me to deliver the keynote speech at your graduation.  As it says in my bio (in the little playbills you are holding), this is one of the biggest honors I have ever received.  And the fact that you had me as your teacher for three years, and still want to hear me talk, makes me smile.  Accordingly, I will try to rise to the occasion.  I told Bianka and Tiana I was just going to hiss at everyone individually, but I’ll save that for the meet-and greet afterwards. Thanks, too, to our administration for allowing me this opportunity to speak, and to our Senior Class Sponsors, especially Bon-Eye, the Librarian, who is always kind and patient, with everyone, even when terribly busy.  Thanks for treating people well, Mrs. Williams. It’s been amazing working with you guys, watching you grow – although I use that word loosely; most of you are the same height as you were when you started high school and some (ahem…Marisol, Brittan
Read more