I looked out the window, down on the corporate American haven of suburban Illinois and asked what have we done. What have we done?
The beautiful summer evening unfolded over people in a hurry, everywhere everyone is in such a fucking hurry, filling their time with a bunch of shit that leads to nothing positive. The city is a lonely place when you're alone. No kidding, when I am alone in the country (are you ready for the country?) I don't feel alone, 'cause God is with me and the spirits are with me and around me. In the city I was alone, a lonliness that moved down inside me and ruined my day and hasn't left me. No one looked eachother in the eye, there were no eyes to look into. Adam and Jason had a full slate of fucking worthless shit and couldn't take the time to see the game (and they felt awful about it) so I went alone and sat beside a woman with Alzhiemer's who talked to me the whole game and made less and less sense as the game progressed and I started thinking about how in just a short time, a blink of the eye, I may be watching someone I love shit themselves and talk about going to the moon between innings - or I may be doing it myself. I just asked what's is the point? Why make ourselves so miserable when we are young? Just so that people can say "Oh yeah, he had a hell of a life, worked his ass off and retired and died out of debt."
Things used to be so simple. I feel flat, there just isn't a lot of magic right now, like there used to be. I may play an open mike night tonight and I just don't care. I feel so non-passionate, and I know that it won't last, but if this is the way people live, no wonder they're so fucking bitter and hang themselves over money.
I'll get out of this. And if you've read this far, I'm impressed. I don't plan on doing it. :)
I do have so much love in me, and that will get me through.
The beautiful summer evening unfolded over people in a hurry, everywhere everyone is in such a fucking hurry, filling their time with a bunch of shit that leads to nothing positive. The city is a lonely place when you're alone. No kidding, when I am alone in the country (are you ready for the country?) I don't feel alone, 'cause God is with me and the spirits are with me and around me. In the city I was alone, a lonliness that moved down inside me and ruined my day and hasn't left me. No one looked eachother in the eye, there were no eyes to look into. Adam and Jason had a full slate of fucking worthless shit and couldn't take the time to see the game (and they felt awful about it) so I went alone and sat beside a woman with Alzhiemer's who talked to me the whole game and made less and less sense as the game progressed and I started thinking about how in just a short time, a blink of the eye, I may be watching someone I love shit themselves and talk about going to the moon between innings - or I may be doing it myself. I just asked what's is the point? Why make ourselves so miserable when we are young? Just so that people can say "Oh yeah, he had a hell of a life, worked his ass off and retired and died out of debt."
Things used to be so simple. I feel flat, there just isn't a lot of magic right now, like there used to be. I may play an open mike night tonight and I just don't care. I feel so non-passionate, and I know that it won't last, but if this is the way people live, no wonder they're so fucking bitter and hang themselves over money.
I'll get out of this. And if you've read this far, I'm impressed. I don't plan on doing it. :)
I do have so much love in me, and that will get me through.
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