And it did.
Sarah said that my melancholy would lead somewhere beautiful, and it did. I really tried to go to class, I did I did, but the clouds were just too beautiful so I went to Wicker Park and took a walk. While I was walking I got such an idea that it almost stopped me in my tracks it was so powerful. I AM A WRITER!!! There. It's going to happen. I'm not sure if I'm a teacher yet, but right now I am a writer, and I feel like a REAL writer. I was down yesterday, low. It was cold everywhere and I felt like a heel, took a nap but didn't sleep, couldn't look up, or make connections.
But did you see the clouds today? ! They explode me. I was powerless to look away and I got a big idea while stumbling under them and exploring and walked around for an hour playing this idea through my head. It is a massive idea, the biggest thing I've ever had.
Sarah came and helped me smile again. I love her.
My jeans are muddy from making my own trail into those deflected musings. I've gotta work soon, where there are no windows opening on the clouds, only the sterility of flourescence. But the idea is there. And it will never be gone, and I love it. It was too big to come to light yesterday, and I think that's why I hurt. My synapses were exploding and I didn't know why and I had so much going on, a war inside my brain, that even the smallest thing hurt me and sent me reeling and wondering what was wrong. But today, today I have never felt more like a writer in my life.
And that is truly beautiful.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mornings like this are why I love Spring in the Midwest: a glowing sky, filled with orange light yet threatening rain, o'erspreading the new green trees...it makes up for the fact that I had an absolutely ICY shower this morning. The sky is wide through my windows. (I'm sad I shal'n't have this room next year.) It makes me think of/ pine for travel. Below are a few pictures from my recent trip to the hill country of central Florida. I backpacked (solo) the state's longest loop trail and rode (both ways) its longest bike trail (with a stop at a strange, distant hotel between legs) and, in between these two jaunts, scorched myself on Clearwater Beach...I have hardly any skin left on me. Enjoy!
Read more
One of my favorite singer/ songwriters, David Brown from Brazzaville, actually read one of my stories, "Sleeping and Waking" and told me that I was a very talented writer with a very natural style. He has inspired much of my writing over the past six months, so this means a lot to me. I am going on one hour of sleep. Gawd, am I tired.
Read more

My Keynote Address to the Calumet High School Class of 2016

I’d like to start by thanking you, sincerely, for choosing me to deliver the keynote speech at your graduation.  As it says in my bio (in the little playbills you are holding), this is one of the biggest honors I have ever received.  And the fact that you had me as your teacher for three years, and still want to hear me talk, makes me smile.  Accordingly, I will try to rise to the occasion.  I told Bianka and Tiana I was just going to hiss at everyone individually, but I’ll save that for the meet-and greet afterwards. Thanks, too, to our administration for allowing me this opportunity to speak, and to our Senior Class Sponsors, especially Bon-Eye, the Librarian, who is always kind and patient, with everyone, even when terribly busy.  Thanks for treating people well, Mrs. Williams. It’s been amazing working with you guys, watching you grow – although I use that word loosely; most of you are the same height as you were when you started high school and some (ahem…Marisol, Brittan
Read more