I'm supposed to be typing a Lincoln review, and have never been more patently listless and unmotivated. For those of you not in the know, Rhonda and I went, on the absolute spur of the moment, to the Gulf of Mexico last Wednesday. We left at 2:09 in the morning. We had 8 dollars between us. We both had work and school the next day. We had no change of clothes. We had no toothbrushes or deoderant. All we had was an explosion of energy, a feeling of stagnation in our lives, and wanderlust so badly that it actually hurt me physically. I made some horrid decisions that have been well documented, but I have been dealing with those to the best of my ability. I don't want to deal with those now. I just want to deal with the fact that I came alive, I came so FUCKING alive that everything that seemed important, all of it, all the academic and monetary shit, was dumped right on its dirty unimportant head, and I lived life in self-actualization mode, in a dirty 5 dollar t-shirt, stomping to Neil, learning to drive a stick, eating Captain D's, smelling the soft air of an island in the Gulf of Mexico, and just falling in love with myself again. There is a rhythm in the earth, to echo the strains of my last post, and I followed it right into a wonderful waking dream that I've yet to break the spell of. Sometimes doors open up at the most improbable times and the receptive, if aware, can open them. Rhonda and I walked through such a door. I didn't realize that some people care a lot more for me than I gave them credit for, and I have tried my best to make things right. But as I've said, I didn't mean to hurt anyone. My road just took a decidedly strange turn, and I followed it down every illogical mile.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mornings like this are why I love Spring in the Midwest: a glowing sky, filled with orange light yet threatening rain, o'erspreading the new green trees...it makes up for the fact that I had an absolutely ICY shower this morning. The sky is wide through my windows. (I'm sad I shal'n't have this room next year.) It makes me think of/ pine for travel. Below are a few pictures from my recent trip to the hill country of central Florida. I backpacked (solo) the state's longest loop trail and rode (both ways) its longest bike trail (with a stop at a strange, distant hotel between legs) and, in between these two jaunts, scorched myself on Clearwater Beach...I have hardly any skin left on me. Enjoy!
Read more
One of my favorite singer/ songwriters, David Brown from Brazzaville, actually read one of my stories, "Sleeping and Waking" and told me that I was a very talented writer with a very natural style. He has inspired much of my writing over the past six months, so this means a lot to me. I am going on one hour of sleep. Gawd, am I tired.
Read more

My Keynote Address to the Calumet High School Class of 2016

I’d like to start by thanking you, sincerely, for choosing me to deliver the keynote speech at your graduation.  As it says in my bio (in the little playbills you are holding), this is one of the biggest honors I have ever received.  And the fact that you had me as your teacher for three years, and still want to hear me talk, makes me smile.  Accordingly, I will try to rise to the occasion.  I told Bianka and Tiana I was just going to hiss at everyone individually, but I’ll save that for the meet-and greet afterwards. Thanks, too, to our administration for allowing me this opportunity to speak, and to our Senior Class Sponsors, especially Bon-Eye, the Librarian, who is always kind and patient, with everyone, even when terribly busy.  Thanks for treating people well, Mrs. Williams. It’s been amazing working with you guys, watching you grow – although I use that word loosely; most of you are the same height as you were when you started high school and some (ahem…Marisol, Brittan
Read more